Picture this: you are out, say at a grocery store, and a beautiful woman walks down your aisle. I mean a stunner. The kind of woman who inspires sonnets and starts wars.
And she doesn’t notice you. She’s just shopping.
You stand there, stunned, scanning your mind for some way to talk to her. You run through all the ways it won’t work, how she’ll think you’re a jerk unless you can say just the perfect thing, but you CAN’T THINK because you’re so scared of SCREWING IT UP. You want to do something but you’re FROZEN.
And then she’s gone. All you got was a clean-up call on aisle 3 so no one slips in your drool.
Sound familiar? It should. It’s happened to EVERYONE at one time or another. Even to me.
The fact that it’s happened shouldn’t embarrass you. But if you keep LETTING it happen, day after day, then you need to do something different. Because that ain’t gonna cut it.
Listen, those ladies have very active social lives. And guess what? They met everyone – including their various boyfriends – as a stranger. Ok, sure, your buddy Lucky is dating a 10 that his sister introduced him to. Goody for him.
You can’t count on that. Women that are sought-after don’t fall into your lap. If you don’t get proactive, you have ZERO chance of ever being with someone like that. And if you’ve got an ADVANCED case of wussy-boy lockjaw, you won’t be able to meet ANYONE worth meeting regularly.
You’ll have to get used to your only best friend, your hand.
Let me tell you something interesting; most women are approached by men all the time, but many of the MOST beautiful women are LEFT ALONE. That’s right, guys are so intimidated by them they class themselves out the competition before it even begins. The 10s in the world are sometimes the loneliest ladies on the planet. They are dying for someone to say something interesting to them.
And you’re going to deny them? Because you’re scared of negative scenarios you thought up that are A THOUSAND TIMES WORSE than any real encounter between real people? How selfish.
The truth is most women will NOT think you are a jerk just for talking to them. They might not be available to talk – maybe they are in a hurry, maybe they have a jealous boyfriend, maybe their dog just died – but a woman will NOT be offended just because you want to talk.
Oh, she’ll know you are trying to pick her up. She’ll assume that just by EYE CONTACT when you notice her, or the way you lean in near her, or the way you are suddenly fascinated by the can of peas near where she’s standing.
You don’t have to approach her for her to assume you’re interested, you just have to notice her.
So, the gig is up, your cover is blown by virtue of the fact that you’re a man. If you keep your mouth shut, all you’re doing is telling her you’re a weak wussy-man with balls of jello that Hanz and Franz would like to pummel until you piss jello ball juice the rest of your life.
Though not in so many words.
So what’s a jello ball man to do to get balls that shoot lightening whenever they clank and rub their brass bravery together?
For starters, you can stop worrying about all the bad things that you think will happen. They won’t. You have to basically TRY if you’re going to get slapped, and she’s not going to call you out in front of your friends.
About the WORST thing that can happen is she won’t be interested in talking and will give you a chill reception.
And that’s about TEN times less likely than you getting some sort of positive response. Even if she can’t talk or isn’t available for whatever reason, she’ll probably act sweet or appreciative anyway.
After all, you just paid her the compliment of ATTENTION. And almost everyone loves that.
If, on the other hand, she IS available, and you manage to avoid saying something insulting (trust me, it’s not hard to avoid), you are VERY likely to get a positive response.
If you say something INTERESTING, if you are PLAYFUL and RELAXED, then you are almost GUARANTEED to get her info.
But on the first approach, that isn’t even necessary. Just avoid saying something like how you want to suck all the milk out of her, and you’ll do fine.
I know a guy who goes up to women all the time and delivers some variant of “Hi, I’m practicing talking to attractive women without being nervous… so how did I do?” Usually that piques their interest. Because his nonverbal sexual cues are so good, he gets the numbers of quite a few of them.
Sounds unbelievable, doesn’t it? All this time you thought there was a magic key, but the truth is you can say almost anything to start a conversation! More important is HOW you say it, WITHOUT NERVES.
So now we come to homework time. Think about situations where you tend to see attractive women. Now think of various things you can say to start a conversation. Relaxed is best, and if you can mix some playfulness in there, you should be golden.
For instance, back in the grocery store, you can make some comment about the products on the shelves. If you can get a laugh or a smile out of her, get her number or go out on a date with her right there.
It’s that easy.
If you can’t think of anything funny, you can always ask for advice. Especially if you need a WOMAN’S advice.
For example, say you’re in a clothing store and a lovely lady walks by. You can say something like ‘Excuse me, but I’m thinking of buying a shirt to go out in this weekend, and I want to look GOOD. Which do you like?”
It’s that easy.
In fact, it’s much easier than you’d believe. Women will give out their info A LOT more easily than you’d imagine. This is true in basically any situation, save funerals, unless you religiously believe in The Wedding Crashers.
Really, the only thing you need to do is get your confidence up and just TALK TO HER. So this week, go out and talk to 10 girls. Once you’ve started you’ll see how easy it can be and want to talk to more, but consider your first 10 practice, just to get yourself conversing with them in a normal way.
The more relaxed you are the better, so the more women you approach the better you’ll become (surprising, isn’t it). Have a list of playful openers read to go and memorized to get yourself started.
Of course, getting email and numbers is only the FIRST STEP, and doesn’t guarantee you’ll get where you want to go.
If you want to get better at ALL aspects of your dating life, check out some of my ebooks or CDs, like Opening Magic, or The Art of Sexy Talk, where I cover everything from the opening to how to turn her on so much in the bedroom that she’ll be begging YOU for more.
Until next time.